1 00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:03,612 So you can shoot free throws better than me. 2 00:00:03,655 --> 00:00:04,874 Fine. Whatever. Big deal. 3 00:00:04,917 --> 00:00:06,223 That's all you've got on me. 4 00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:08,138 Can you stop a ceiling fan with your head? 5 00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:09,922 I didn't think so. 6 00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:11,402 And look at this. 7 00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:13,535 My Popsicle's like twice the size of yours. 8 00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:14,623 What a score. 9 00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:15,711 I am totally... 10 00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:17,191 Reese. 11 00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,108 Oh. 12 00:00:21,151 --> 00:00:23,110 Never mind. 13 00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:26,983 ♪ Yes, no, maybe 14 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,290 ♪ I don't know 15 00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:32,293 ♪ Can you repeat the question? 16 00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:34,643 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 17 00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:37,167 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 18 00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:39,343 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 19 00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,519 ♪ And you're not so big 20 00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:44,174 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 21 00:00:44,218 --> 00:00:46,176 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 22 00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:48,570 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 23 00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:51,312 ♪ And you're not so big 24 00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:56,056 ♪ Life is unfair. 25 00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,885 Jamie, how can you enjoy this processed food? 26 00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:02,540 This is nothing like you'd eat out in the wild. 27 00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:03,933 I did it! 28 00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,500 I got my learner's permit. 29 00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:06,805 I can drive anywhere with an adult. 30 00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:08,242 And the adult does not 31 00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:09,330 have to be visible from the outside. 32 00:01:09,373 --> 00:01:10,766 I checked. 33 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,072 Everyone taking the test was trying to copy off him. 34 00:01:13,377 --> 00:01:15,118 Wow, Mom's actually proud of me. 35 00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:17,120 It's kind of nice to finally have my moment in the... 36 00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,165 Dewey?! 37 00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:20,080 Oh, my God! 38 00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:22,778 Is this what it looks like? 39 00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:24,823 Yes, Mom. This is a friend. 40 00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:26,608 His name's Noah. 41 00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:29,263 Oh, Noah, it is such a pleasure to meet you. 42 00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:32,266 I can't tell you how thrilled I am... 43 00:01:32,309 --> 00:01:33,745 Mom. 44 00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:36,052 If we seem too excited, we're going to spook him. 45 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,576 So as far as you're concerned, this is just another day. 46 00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,188 Come on, Noah. 47 00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:42,711 Dewey? 48 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:46,236 Okay, I'm done now. 49 00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:49,805 HAL: Honey, come on out here. 50 00:01:49,848 --> 00:01:51,241 I have a surprise for you. 51 00:01:55,419 --> 00:01:56,725 What is this? 52 00:01:56,768 --> 00:01:58,292 It's a hot tub, Lois. 53 00:01:58,335 --> 00:01:59,858 Are you out of your mind? 54 00:01:59,902 --> 00:02:01,425 We can't afford a hot tub. 55 00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:03,079 That's what I said, too, 56 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,995 but then the sales guy showed me how wrong I was. 57 00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:07,170 Boys, get out here! 58 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:10,042 Hal, I can't believe you did this without me. 59 00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:12,393 You know we always make these kinds of decisions together. 60 00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:14,003 It was an in-store promotion. 61 00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:15,787 We got 20% off 62 00:02:15,831 --> 00:02:17,615 on the spot. 63 00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:19,443 Plus a tub club card, plus free caulking. 64 00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:21,097 And that's where they kill you, Lois-- the caulking. 65 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,185 Hal... 66 00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:22,881 MALCOLM: A hot tub. 67 00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:24,274 Sweet. 68 00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:26,407 This is just what it's like here. 69 00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:28,322 We're always getting great stuff like hot tubs. 70 00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:29,323 Hal, you're taking it back. 71 00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:30,454 What about the boys? 72 00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:31,847 Don't they get a say in this? 73 00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:33,588 Yeah, Mom, it'll be great 74 00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:34,850 for entertaining. 75 00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:36,330 No, they do not get a say in this 76 00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,201 because we are not keeping it. 77 00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:40,247 Well, we're... kind of locked in. 78 00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:42,466 We're what? Lois, you don't get 79 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:45,295 deals like this without making a commitment. 80 00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:47,558 It's zero percent interest. 81 00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:49,995 If you factor in inflation, it's almost like 82 00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:51,388 they're paying us 2,800 bucks. 83 00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:53,825 $2,800! 84 00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:55,566 I can't believe you! 85 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,351 You went behind my back, 86 00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:58,874 you spent money you had no right to spend to buy a pile 87 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,397 of lumber and tubes. 88 00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:01,920 Don't worry. 89 00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:04,096 It has very detailed assembly instructions, 90 00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:07,883 which I won't go anywhere near because Malcolm's doing it. 91 00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:08,753 I don't mind. 92 00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:22,289 The baby's head was in the sun. 93 00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:25,292 Otto, what are you doing? 94 00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:27,119 I am posting the new safety rules. 95 00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:29,861 There have been far too many senseless accidents. 96 00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:33,169 People will have no excuse not to be safe. 97 00:03:56,801 --> 00:04:00,501 Francis! You wouldn't believe what happened-- I almost... 98 00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:06,115 Otto! Oh, my God! 99 00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:07,943 You okay?! 100 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,731 Manfred Schmidt. 101 00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:16,560 Did I tell you? 102 00:04:16,603 --> 00:04:18,867 You just can't have a care in the world 103 00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:20,346 when you're in a hot tub. 104 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:23,132 It's like a trip back to the old amniotic sac. 105 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,527 Jamie's going to be asleep for another hour. 106 00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:28,355 Do you think I could borrow your car 107 00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:29,878 for a quick trip to the Lucky Aide? 108 00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,488 I'll drive! 109 00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:33,577 Oh, no, I'll be fine, really. 110 00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:34,448 You all look so comfortable, 111 00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:35,492 and it's really just... 112 00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:36,450 Not a problem at all. 113 00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:37,799 I got the keys. Let's go! 114 00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,107 Honey, take a load off. 115 00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:43,544 No, thanks. 116 00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:44,545 Since now you've decided 117 00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:45,546 we're a family where everyone 118 00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:46,590 does whatever they want, 119 00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:47,591 what I want is to 120 00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:49,941 not be in the hot tub. 121 00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:52,335 These jets are great. 122 00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:53,684 I couldn't hear a word she said. 123 00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:56,687 And if you really listen, 124 00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:58,689 everything has its own vibration. 125 00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:00,430 The trees and the grass... 126 00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:01,953 I mean, it's like the whole world 127 00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:03,172 is screaming sometimes. 128 00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:04,739 But you know, you can get one of those 129 00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:07,481 white noise machines and really crank it... 130 00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:08,482 Oh, stop here. 131 00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:09,787 What about the drugstore? 132 00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:11,311 I just need to grab something. 133 00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:19,362 This is cool. I get to drive. 134 00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:21,190 Plus, I got to know Polly a little bit better. 135 00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:24,367 It turns out she hasn't had a TV in 12 years, 136 00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:27,631 and instead of chemicals, her dry cleaner uses tea. 137 00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:30,373 Okay, but the driving is still cool. 138 00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:31,505 Go! Go! Go! Go! What? 139 00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:33,289 I said go! 140 00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,605 What did you do?Malcolm, just give me a second to explain. 141 00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:45,997 I didn't do anything wrong. 142 00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:48,478 Trust me-- we're not in any danger. 143 00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:50,045 Then take your foot off the gas! 144 00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,051 Okay, what did you take? 145 00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:57,095 What is that thing? 146 00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:58,314 This is mine. 147 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,055 It belongs to me. 148 00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:03,058 My ex-boyfriend Danny took it and he wouldn't give it back, 149 00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:04,799 and this happens to be my mother. 150 00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:05,974 Your what? 151 00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:07,541 My mother's in here. Her ashes. 152 00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:09,456 I meant to get her a nicer urn, 153 00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:12,415 but they just raised my tuition at the Wicca School. 154 00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,765 So why couldn't you just ask the guy for the ashes? 155 00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:16,288 I don't think that would be 156 00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:17,986 a really good route to go with Danny. 157 00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:19,596 He's a very troubled man. 158 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,599 What? Please don't tell your parents, okay? 159 00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:25,559 I need you to keep this between us, please? 160 00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:26,473 I love Jamie, 161 00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:28,213 and he loves me, 162 00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:30,607 and I'd be crushed if I couldn't see him. 163 00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:32,479 Literally. 164 00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:35,264 Emotions can compress organs, Malcolm. 165 00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:37,571 So can you help me out on this? 166 00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:39,442 Fine. 167 00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,313 This is weird. 168 00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:42,619 All I keep thinking is, 169 00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:45,622 it is so cool that I'm driving. 170 00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,668 Francis, have you seen Otto? 171 00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,060 What's the matter? 172 00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:50,932 I don't like letting him out of my sight. 173 00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:52,716 He's been so accident-prone. 174 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,110 In the past few days, he smashed up both our cars. 175 00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:56,851 He keeps falling down the stairs. 176 00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:58,635 This morning, he set his hair on fire 177 00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:00,463 with his reading glasses. 178 00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,509 Gretchen, my love, I wonder if you can 179 00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:04,075 fetch the tweezers. 180 00:07:04,119 --> 00:07:06,904 I seem to have an ass-full of cactus. 181 00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:09,603 Otto, it was just beginning to heal. 182 00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:12,519 Well, I'm sorry. It's not like I'm doing this on purpose. 183 00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:13,868 Ooh... 184 00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:14,869 Francis, I'm afraid 185 00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,348 I'm doing this on purpose. 186 00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:17,611 What, hurting yourself? 187 00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:18,916 I don't know. It doesn't seem 188 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,528 like all of these things could be accidents. 189 00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:23,051 It's like there is some 190 00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:25,967 subconscious drive to punish myself for some unknown... 191 00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:32,539 Otto, what does the name Manfred Schmidt mean to you? 192 00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:35,629 I haven't thought about him for years. 193 00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:38,632 I'm... oh, oh... 194 00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:39,937 What? 195 00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:42,766 Manfred Schmidt is Gretchen's fiancé. 196 00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:46,161 Well, he was, until I stole her. 197 00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:47,641 You stole Gretchen? 198 00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,556 He was my best friend, 199 00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:51,775 but I was in love with Gretchen, too. 200 00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:52,776 And on the day 201 00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,517 they were going to elope, 202 00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:58,434 I told Manfred that Gretchen had already gone 203 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:01,698 and that she would meet him at the train station in Berlin. 204 00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:03,004 Oh, Otto. 205 00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:04,919 Poor Gretchen stood in the rain for hours, 206 00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:05,963 devastated. 207 00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:07,312 And then I came along 208 00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:09,663 and I comforted her, and, uh, 209 00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:11,708 one thing led to another thing, and, uh... 210 00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:15,582 well, here we are-- 25 years of perfect love... 211 00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,714 built on a lie. 212 00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,934 Otto, this is obviously tearing you up inside. 213 00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,327 Why don't you just call this guy and apologize 214 00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:24,416 before you really end up hurting yourself? 215 00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:26,027 Francis, I don't think I have the courage. 216 00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:27,463 Besides, 217 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,813 now that I know what is behind it, 218 00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:32,381 maybe the problem will go away. 219 00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:35,297 Those are thumb tacks. 220 00:08:36,645 --> 00:08:38,126 DEWEY: Dad. 221 00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:40,389 Noah and I were supposed to play together, 222 00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:41,825 but when I got to his house, 223 00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:43,479 he wasn't there. 224 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,960 I waited for an hour, but he never showed up. 225 00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,614 Don't be so negative. 226 00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:50,486 Maybe he got hurt and was taken to the hospital, 227 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,401 or maybe his grandmother died. 228 00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:56,797 NOAH: ...and then my guy parachutes in 229 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,581 and shoots your guy. 230 00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,061 Oh! I'm cold! 231 00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:01,628 I'm so cold! 232 00:09:04,718 --> 00:09:05,849 LOIS: Oh, come on, Jamie. 233 00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:06,763 Here comes the airplane. 234 00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:08,069 Come on, say "ah." 235 00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:09,723 Boy, you know, I think the tension 236 00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:11,507 in my neck was dulling my taste buds. 237 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,769 These hamburgers are amazing, honey. 238 00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:13,988 Well, thank you. 239 00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:15,424 And even with the cheese, 240 00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:17,295 it came in for less than $2,800. 241 00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:18,993 Who has the mustard? 242 00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:21,299 I don't know. Maybe Reese stole it. 243 00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:23,040 Like he steals everything. 244 00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:24,955 Well, maybe the mustard likes me better. 245 00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:27,175 Maybe the mustard and I have more fun. 246 00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:28,829 You totally stole Noah from me! 247 00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:31,396 Whoa, you can't just change subjects on me. 248 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,224 We were talking about mustard. 249 00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:34,878 I was talking about Noah. 250 00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:36,837 Oh, man, what a great kid. 251 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,490 It's like having a little brother, you know? 252 00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:40,101 He was so proud of me when I 253 00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:42,233 beat the crap out of Craig Jansen for him. 254 00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:43,670 It was a nice moment. 255 00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:46,107 LOIS: Malcolm, how was your drive today?Fine. 256 00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:48,413 Just went to the Lucky Aide and back, that's it, huh? 257 00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:49,240 Yeah. 258 00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:50,720 LOIS: The Lucky Aide 259 00:09:50,764 --> 00:09:52,766 is only two and a half miles each way, 260 00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:55,682 yet the odometer mysteriously gained 23 miles. 261 00:09:57,771 --> 00:09:59,990 Okay, well, after I dropped Polly off, 262 00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:01,992 I took the car by myself. I'm sorry. 263 00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,907 I was just so excited, 264 00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:06,040 and I wanted to show off, so I drove around the mall. 265 00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,868 Well, thank you for being honest with me. 266 00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,348 Now give me the permit. 267 00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:11,698 What?! Two months without driving. 268 00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:12,916 But, Mom... 269 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,091 Because you were honest with me, 270 00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:15,484 I'm not going to wad this up 271 00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:16,572 and throw it down the garbage disposal. 272 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,660 That's so unfair! Dad? 273 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,357 Malcolm, you know I always agree 274 00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:21,098 with your mother. 275 00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:24,319 Whether or not she holds herself to the same standard. 276 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,906 That's it! 277 00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:49,300 I'm sick of all the noise around here. Everybody out! 278 00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:51,563 Hal, you're taking the boys to the movies, now! 279 00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:54,175 Everybody up. Let's go, let's go! 280 00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:03,140 HAL: Well, I didn't know the movie 281 00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:04,402 was going to be sold out. 282 00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:05,926 I'll get the paper. 283 00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:08,363 I didn't want to see the dog movie anyway. 284 00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:11,061 Well, whatever we see, I have to be back by 7:00. 285 00:11:11,105 --> 00:11:13,542 Me and Noah are ambushing Kevin Teevens. 286 00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:15,892 Another one? What are you, his enforcer? 287 00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,807 It's called being a friend. 288 00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:19,853 Okay, what do you boys want to see? 289 00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:23,160 I don't care. The real fun is being driven there by my dad. 290 00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,161 Come on. 291 00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:25,815 Hey, what about this one? 292 00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:27,687 There's a review right here. 293 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:49,970 Sounds good. 294 00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,841 Let's go. 295 00:11:57,455 --> 00:11:59,457 Ah. 296 00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:18,259 Well, he's missing out on a great cardio workout. 297 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:21,784 Malcolm, right? 298 00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,786 Who are you? My name is Danny. 299 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,266 I believe you took something 300 00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:27,616 that belongs to me. 301 00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:34,797 What, did you think I wouldn't find you? 302 00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,407 Do you think you could get away with this? 303 00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:37,495 Do you think I'm stupid? 304 00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:39,062 Do you think this is fun for me?! 305 00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:41,369 I don't know what question to answer. 306 00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:45,068 Aah! Sinus headache. 307 00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:46,896 The pain makes me furious, 308 00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:48,506 and the fury makes it more painful, 309 00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:51,509 and then you just black out and you don't know what you did. 310 00:12:51,553 --> 00:12:52,684 How can I help you? 311 00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,469 I want the urn that Polly took. 312 00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:56,036 You want her mother's ashes? 313 00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:58,821 She told you her mother's in there? 314 00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:01,084 My father's in there. 315 00:13:01,128 --> 00:13:03,608 My father, who I loved, 316 00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:06,089 who went cold-turkey for my graduation. 317 00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:08,483 That's whose ashes are in there. 318 00:13:08,526 --> 00:13:11,181 Oh. Well...You are going to give me that urn. 319 00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:13,053 I know where you live. 320 00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:14,837 So listen up. 321 00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:17,448 I'm going to go get an allergy shot. 322 00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:18,928 And right after that, 323 00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:21,452 I'm coming over to your house for the ashes. 324 00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:28,111 Well, look at the giant surprise that happened here. 325 00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:29,634 You want to tell me 326 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,201 this wasn't a huge waste of money now? 327 00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:33,638 Every tub has a break-in period. 328 00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:35,902 It's just adjusting to our natural body chemistry. 329 00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:38,469 There's a six-inch crust of algae. 330 00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:40,515 The tub is fine. 331 00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:54,616 See? Absolutely perfect. 332 00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,018 You lied to me. 333 00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:06,149 What do you mean? 334 00:14:06,193 --> 00:14:07,368 I just met Danny, and he says 335 00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:09,065 his father's ashes are in that urn. 336 00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:10,458 Well, yes, they are. 337 00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,112 So you lied. 338 00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:14,288 No, the truth is, it's my mother's ashes, 339 00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,812 his father's ashes, the springer spaniel 340 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,901 that we bought together and a cat I had before I met him. 341 00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:21,904 What?! You know how when you move in with somebody, 342 00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:25,038 you-you mix up your plates and your CDs... 343 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,954 Look, he was acting really, really scary. 344 00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:30,173 Like psycho dangerous scary. 345 00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:32,132 Just tell me, do I need to be worried? 346 00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:34,177 Oh, no. No. 347 00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:35,483 Yes. 348 00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:37,311 Oh, God. All right. 349 00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,356 I've got to think. 350 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,576 I'll think of something. 351 00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:44,796 I couldn't think of anything. 352 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,887 We're out of the city; you can turn on the headlights. 353 00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:50,411 Okay, his plane landed an hour ago. 354 00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:51,803 He should be here any minute. 355 00:14:51,847 --> 00:14:53,153 Manfred Schmidt. 356 00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:55,155 What if the fire is still there 357 00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:56,069 between him and Gretchen? 358 00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:57,548 Come on, Otto, 359 00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:58,985 you know how much Gretchen loves you. 360 00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:01,857 I can do this. 361 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,033 I will go get Gretchen. 362 00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:10,039 Thank you very much. 363 00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,432 Uh, please... 364 00:15:11,475 --> 00:15:12,868 make sure my chef finds the kitchen. 365 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,435 Mr. Schmidt, welcome. 366 00:15:14,478 --> 00:15:16,176 Did you have a nice flight? 367 00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:17,525 Ah, yes, thanks. 368 00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:19,005 When you fly your own jet, 369 00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:21,355 it always makes the time go so much faster. 370 00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:24,184 Uh, did your wife come with you? 371 00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:25,750 Oh, I never married. 372 00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:28,318 After Gretchen broke my heart, I just couldn't. 373 00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:31,147 Every day I think of what might have been, 374 00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:35,021 and now-- thanks to you-- what still could be. 375 00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:37,893 Do you think she likes giant diamonds? 376 00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:43,029 Uh... look, there's been a change in plans. 377 00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:44,769 Gretchen isn't here. 378 00:15:44,813 --> 00:15:46,206 I'm afraid she stood you up. 379 00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:48,251 What? She said she wasn't interested. 380 00:15:48,295 --> 00:15:49,774 And then she disappeared. 381 00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:50,862 Tough break. 382 00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:53,082 I don't believe you.Seriously. 383 00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:54,605 You know how flighty Gretchen can be. 384 00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:56,216 I didn't come all the way from Germany 385 00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:59,045 to be turned away by some messenger boy. 386 00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:01,917 I'm not leaving until I see Gretchen. 387 00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:18,194 Otto, why are you being so mysterious? 388 00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:20,805 What is this big terrible secret? 389 00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:21,893 Well... 390 00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:29,075 Otto paid way too much for these earrings. 391 00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:30,511 Oh, Otto. 392 00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:33,427 Okay, my mom says I can stay for dinner. 393 00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:34,210 Cool. 394 00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:35,429 Oh, Dewey. 395 00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:36,821 Noah's going to need your chair. 396 00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:39,041 He's not your friend, Reese. 397 00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,304 Noah just made friends with me to get to you. 398 00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:44,264 And he's just using you to beat people up for him. 399 00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:45,743 Reese, take him out. 400 00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,441 No, listen. 401 00:16:47,484 --> 00:16:50,183 Last week, three kids beat the crap out of him. 402 00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:53,273 He's not tough enough to get them back, but you are. 403 00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:54,274 You already paid back 404 00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:56,145 Kevin Teevens and Craig Jansen. 405 00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:58,278 All that's left is Todd Lemmon, 406 00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:01,498 and I took care of him myself. 407 00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,413 Here's a piece of his T-shirt. 408 00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:07,287 Here's his retainer with part of a tooth still on it. 409 00:17:07,329 --> 00:17:09,289 And here's my four-day suspension slip. 410 00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:11,117 Wow. 411 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,988 You really nailed him. 412 00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:16,209 Thanks, Dewey. Go to hell, Reese. 413 00:17:17,165 --> 00:17:19,299 Wait. So it's just over? 414 00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:22,519 Is that all I was to you, a couple of fists? 415 00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:27,089 I have some guys you can beat up for me. 416 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,873 It's too soon. 417 00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:32,225 Are you positive Danny won't go to our house? 418 00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:33,487 I told him specifically 419 00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:35,576 that he wouldn't find us or the ashes there. 420 00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:38,361 I just hope he checks his messages. 421 00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:39,971 Danny's not home! 422 00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:44,280 That doesn't work when he's in the car! 423 00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:45,847 Let go! Let go! 424 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,589 What are you doing here? 425 00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:50,243 I'm here to get what's mine. 426 00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:51,592 You had no right to take my father from me! 427 00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:52,897 Oh, your "father"? Please. 428 00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:54,116 When he was sick, you made him live 429 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,336 in a junked-out car in the backyard. 430 00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:57,467 That was a Le Sabre! 431 00:17:57,511 --> 00:17:59,121 Do you hear the way she talks to me? 432 00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:00,122 I'm just driving. 433 00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,776 We had an agreement. 434 00:18:01,819 --> 00:18:03,952 We said the ashes would stay right by the coffeemaker 435 00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:06,128 and we'd all be together. Forever. 436 00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,217 You and me and our dead ancestors and pets. 437 00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,567 Then one day I come home from drum circle 438 00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:13,353 and you're gone without even saying good-bye! 439 00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,181 Danny, you're the one 440 00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:16,617 who violated the agreement, 441 00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:19,359 because you had to dominate every moment 442 00:18:19,402 --> 00:18:20,838 of my life. 443 00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:22,275 You even had to cut my hair. 444 00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,493 And I don't like bangs! 445 00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:26,931 Are you insane? With your bone structure, you... 446 00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:28,150 Never mind. 447 00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:29,499 You're not taking my father. 448 00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:30,544 You can't have my mother. 449 00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:32,241 Give me the ashes. 450 00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:33,764 I will not! 451 00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:35,723 What are you do...? Aah! Malcolm! 452 00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:37,507 No! 453 00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,030 : Oh! 454 00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:41,424 I have heard enough of this. 455 00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:43,557 I am sick of you people screaming about the ashes 456 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,212 when it's clearly not about the ashes. 457 00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,388 It's not? I think it is. 458 00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,041 The problem is your relationship. 459 00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:51,782 And you're never going to get past it 460 00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:55,308 unless you start talking to each other like human beings. 461 00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:01,749 I-I guess I freaked out... 462 00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:06,536 when you left me without even saying good-bye. 463 00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:08,059 I'm sorry about that. 464 00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:10,888 We both know it had to end. 465 00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:13,848 I just couldn't face hurting you. 466 00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:16,111 You deserved better from me. 467 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,331 Thank you. 468 00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:19,984 You're welcome. 469 00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:23,466 So if, uh, there's nobody else back there, 470 00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:26,208 I'm just gonna turn around and go home. 471 00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:28,297 You're a heart healer, Malcolm. 472 00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:30,212 I'm pretty sure it's too late for you now, 473 00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:33,955 but in the next life, you're gonna really cash in. 474 00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:42,877 I have to say, I've only ever seen this on boats. 475 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,706 I'm gonna have to make some phone calls on this one. 476 00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:52,756 Go ahead and say it. I know you're dying to. 477 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:57,631 Why do I always have to be the fun killer? 478 00:19:57,674 --> 00:19:59,372 What are you talking about? 479 00:19:59,415 --> 00:20:01,461 Do you know what it's like to be the person 480 00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:04,855 in charge of saying "no" all the time? 481 00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:06,466 I hate it. 482 00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:09,338 Honey, we depend on you for that. 483 00:20:09,382 --> 00:20:11,471 You're the one who keeps us from killing ourselves. 484 00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:14,256 Yes, but all I ever hear is "Why can't we?" 485 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,693 and "You never let us." 486 00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:19,696 Just once can't I be the person 487 00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:22,395 who gets to have the fun, crazy idea? 488 00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:25,963 You know what? Absolutely. 489 00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:27,356 Go ahead. 490 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,532 What do you have in mind? 491 00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:34,102 Well, I can't come up with something just on the spot. 492 00:20:34,145 --> 00:20:36,191 Okay. This should stunt the algae growth. 493 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,324 This should burn off your outer layer of skin. 494 00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,282 And these pills will gradually kill 495 00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:42,458 what's lodged in your urethra. 496 00:20:45,592 --> 00:20:47,333 It was a kidnapping situation 497 00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:48,943 and it wasn't our fault... 498 00:20:48,986 --> 00:20:50,553 Where's Mom and Dad? 499 00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:51,728 They're not home yet. 500 00:20:51,772 --> 00:20:53,295 Oh, my God, this is fate. 501 00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:54,514 We said "knock, knock." 502 00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:57,125 And this is the universe saying, "Who's there?" 503 00:20:57,168 --> 00:21:00,259 If they ask, I was here all night. 504 00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:02,348 Oh, boys, 505 00:21:02,391 --> 00:21:04,654 your mom has a really crazy idea 506 00:21:04,698 --> 00:21:06,917 she wants to run by you. Probably too crazy. 507 00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:08,919 Lois? 508 00:21:08,963 --> 00:21:12,271 We are going to have ice cream on the good china. 509 00:21:14,969 --> 00:21:17,145 Wow, that's crazy. Oh, cool. Are you sure? 510 00:21:17,188 --> 00:21:19,147 I told you!Wow.